Some Things Must Be Said

I have known my DH since I was 12 years old. (That's how old our oldest child is now. Eeek!) DH and I went to the same middle school. We were on the annual staff together (you know, the yearbook). At the annual staff end-of-the-year banquet, my dad and I provided the entertainment in the form of guitar and banjo music. (I am the banjo-picker in the family. And my dad knows the words to every bluegrass song ever written.)

I'm told that after that banquet, my future mother-in-law told her son, "You ought to get to know that little girl." (She liked that my dad and I were close... and DH's family puts a premium on close families, as does mine.) So all through high school, DH had his eye on me. Oh, sure, other girls might have beguiled him... temporarily. But only I had his mom's Maternal Seal of Approval.

Our senior year in high school, DH and I were friends, and DH decided it was about time to ask me out. Just a few days before he did, though, he discovered that my little sister (only a year younger than us) had a crush on him and was hoping that he would ask HER out. Yikes! What to do? DH did the right thing... he walked away. (I've often thought how God's hand was in the timing of that... if DH and I had dated in high school, no doubt we'd have had an ugly, immature breakup and hated each other for years. That's what happened with many of my high-school dating relationships... victims of immaturity.)

It was actually a couple of years later, once I was away at college, that we finally went on our first date. I was home for the summer, and he invited me to a church softball game. I still remember being so surprised when he came to the door - he looked so much... older! better! than I remembered him. In fact, he was downright good-looking! And as the date progressed, the news just got better. We had a lot in common. We were really comfortable around each other. We just... fit.

It only took about 3 weeks for both of us to figure out that this thing had potential. (Ok, it took me 3 weeks. He had known it for years!) We did have some rocky times, of course, but we stuck it out, and two years later - right after college graduation - we got married.

That was almost 18 years ago. We've been married so long now that it's rare that anyone ever asks us how we met. But I'm thinking about it today, because today is a very special day. Today is DH's 40th birthday.

I didn't know my dear Father Bird when he was a little kid. But we grew up in the same town. Our parents had several mutual friends. Our families ate in the same restaurants. We've wondered many times how often our paths probably crossed when we were young children and we were oblivious. I wish I could be a little fly-on-the-wall at one of those path-crossings and see if he ever noticed me, or if I ever looked at him.

But I have known DH for most of his life. In only a year or two, I'll be able to say that he's spent over HALF of his life married to me. And all that time together gives me some perspective on him. I've seen him at his best, and his worst. And this is what I think:

Dear Husband, I am very glad you were born. You are a good man. You are honest, disciplined, hard-working, funny, and real. You love me and our kids with a deeply committed heart. Your life is intertwined with ours in a way that strengthens us and makes us better people.

You are making a valuable contribution to the world outside our family as well. Your business helps hundreds of people every year. You are a fair and compassionate boss who treats his employees well. And you aren't afraid to do the right thing, even when it is hard to do. Even when it costs you something.

You take risks on our behalf. You tackle challenges with great zeal. You are curious about everything, which makes you are one of the most fascinating people I've ever met. You always have something interesting to say, something valuable to contribute to every conversation.

It is a great privilege for me to get to be not just in your life, but at its center.

Happy birthday, darling. I love you with my whole heart.