Small Talk
For the last week, my wonderful dh has been speechless. Literally. Last Tuesday he underwent surgery to have a node removed from his vocal cords, and a key part of his recovery was the requirement of "total vocal rest." No talking, whispering, humming, even whistling. Coughing only if he had to.
How do you think you'd respond to a week of silence? I think it'd be very insightful. You know where dh found it most difficult? At the dinner table. Sitting around eating the evening meal, talking and laughing, the kids and I had no idea how hard it was for Dad to sit quietly. He wanted to participate! To joke with us! Typing his responses on his laptop was frustratingly slow.
But he also found that, during the day, he was amazingly productive. He tackled all kinds of boring administrative work: Budgeting. Answering non-urgent emails. Researching. And he found that he could get a LOT done when no one was calling. (And we didn't call him - what would be the point? A phone is useless if you can't even whisper. Unless it has text messaging.)
But today, the ban was lifted. The doc cleared dh to speak again... and his voice was music to my ears. It'll be a month or two, they say, before his voice is back to optimal clarity. That's okay with all of us, especially him. You don't have to have perfect vocal clarity to participate in family dinner again.
How do you think you'd respond to a week of silence? I think it'd be very insightful. You know where dh found it most difficult? At the dinner table. Sitting around eating the evening meal, talking and laughing, the kids and I had no idea how hard it was for Dad to sit quietly. He wanted to participate! To joke with us! Typing his responses on his laptop was frustratingly slow.
But he also found that, during the day, he was amazingly productive. He tackled all kinds of boring administrative work: Budgeting. Answering non-urgent emails. Researching. And he found that he could get a LOT done when no one was calling. (And we didn't call him - what would be the point? A phone is useless if you can't even whisper. Unless it has text messaging.)
But today, the ban was lifted. The doc cleared dh to speak again... and his voice was music to my ears. It'll be a month or two, they say, before his voice is back to optimal clarity. That's okay with all of us, especially him. You don't have to have perfect vocal clarity to participate in family dinner again.
posted by Mamabird @ 4:17 PM
2 Comments:
At 12:23 PM,
Patty in WA or Rover said…
It was interesting when our power went out for 5 days...the last three, we went to our cabin, but the first 2.5, we were without electricity. It was interesting to me to see how many things that require electricity are distractions and timewasters for me. It gave me a lot of time to read and just to reflect. Mostly reflect, as it is hard to read by candlelight. At our latitude, the sun rises late and sets early in December, so our days without electricty were very short.
Sometimes enforced silence, either vocal or electrical, can be just what the doctor ordered, in more ways than one.
At 12:21 PM,
Mamabird said…
You are so right, Patty. I went to a marriage seminar this weekend by Dan Allender, and the first point he covered was that the distractions of daily life prevent us from achieving real intimacy. He challenged us: for every one hour you spend in front of the TV, the computer, the Blackberry, spend a matching hour talking with your spouse. Or your kids. Keep them in balance.
I wonder if teaching my kids grammar counts as quality time? (grin - I think I know the answer to that one.)
K
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