Ever Used A Backhoe?

Today I am going to post my backhoe story. (I read another blog today that featured photos of a backhoe, and this inspired me.)

The first year that dh and I were married, we decided we needed life insurance. (Why? Why? I think we made, between the two of us that first year, about $10,000. We were poverty level, for cryin' out loud! Why did we think we needed life insurance? Sigh.)

So the nurse comes to our house for the health tests. Blood sample... check. Urine sample... check. Blood pressure, heart rate, temperature, etc. Now, fill out the questionnaire. Name, age, health history. Check.

Then it comes time for the interrogation. No, she wasn't all NYPD Blue about it - just a few routine questions.

Nurse: "Do you drink?"
Me: "No." (I didn't, not until about 1o years later. Couldn't afford to!)
Nurse: Live more than 20 miles from work?
Me: "Nope."
Nurse: "Use any type of illegal drugs?"
Me: "No way." (I was raised Baptist, baby! Drugs were a one-way ticket to HELL!)

Then the more bizarre questions began...
Nurse: "In the past 5 years have you ever flown an airplane or taken flying lessons?"
Me: "Are you kidding?
Nurse: "How about bungee jumping?"
Me: "Uh, NO."
Nurse: "Skydiving?"
Me: (no answer, just a snort. I have a fear of heights.)

And then, out of left field, she asks, "Ever used a backhoe?"

Ever used a backhoe?
WHAT?

No, lady, I'm a secretary in a small office - I weigh about 125 pounds, have never done more than 10 consecutive pushups, and could not complete even half of a chin-up if called upon to prevent nuclear war. I am definitely NOT a construction type.

So I looked at her quizzically and said, disbelievingly, "A backhoe? Noooooooo...."

To which she patiently replied, "No, no, dear. Do you smoke?"

Oh.

Have I ever used TOBACCO.

Good thing life insurance requirements don't include a hearing test. Or one for COMMON SENSE.